PANIC!! (not just at the disco)

First of all . . . surprise!!!! You might be a little shocked to see me posting again before my trip has begun . . . especially since it doesn't count for marks anymore (just kidding!). Honestly I was never a super reliable blogger . . . but now I keep coming up with ideas for posts. So here I go.

A week from this very moment, I will be in Ecuador. And it's official: panic has set in. Not in a huge way, but to some degree. My placement still isn't 100% figured out. I know that there will absolutely be something there for me to do and it will all be worked out somehow, so I'm trying to stay chill about it. There is still SO MUCH to do before I head out. I still need to do laundry, buy a mosquito net, send some forms to school, etc etc . . .

You know what set off a wave of panic? It was the most insignificant thing. I went out to buy some milk for my parents and, out of habit I checked the expiration date. It said May 14th. MAY 14th!! That is more than a week after I will have arrived in Ecuador. Expiration dates, especially on milk, are never that far into the future. It goes bad pretty quickly. That's just how things go. And I will be in Ecuador even faster than our dairy products can expire. Whoa.

Not that it's all doom and gloom around here. Just the opposite! I am very excited for my trip and can't wait to see what is in store for me there. Things are starting to come together piece by piece. My lovely aunt has offered to drive me to the airport, preventing a lonely ride in an airport shuttle I was prepared to take. A friend of mine and her mom were thoughtful enough to prepare a travel care kit for me, complete with bug spray, a first aid kit, sunscreen, and many other useful items. I went to Value Village with a friend and bought some lightweight cargo pants (we do take your advice Joanne!!). Another friend was kind enough to give me some memory cards as a gift to increase my picture-taking capacity. Though I haven't officially started packing, I have been making a list in my head of the things I want to take, including a list of books I am going to take with me to read. (I am an English student . . . it's what we do. I think I have it down to four, not counting the Bible. And that was tough!! One may even be The Plague or Pedagogy of the Oppressed . . . no promises though lol). But I still can't believe I leave in 6 days!!!

The hardest part for me, as I always knew it would be, is saying goodbye. Earlier today I got back from a fabulous trip to visit friends in Ottawa. One had her baby while I was visiting, so I got to spend time with her and her husband, and meet her beautiful new son. I got to spend an evening catching up with a friend from high school, and went for bubble tea with her and her husband. She is having her second child, a little girl, in July. I also got to play trains with her son and read him a bed time story, which was great. I spent a night with a family I nannied for a few summers ago, and got to see how much the kids have grown up. I also spent a lot of time just relaxing with other friends . . . laughing, watching movies, eating junk food, playing cards and board games, getting pastries from the local bakery, and going out for lunch. It was exactly what I needed. At the same time, it also reminded me of what I would be missing while I was gone. I helped a friend pick out a gift for a wedding I can't attend. My mother and grandfather will celebrate birthdays, as will aunts, cousins, and a handful of other relatives. My poor parents will be short their only daughter on Mother and Father's Day. Babies not yet born will already be months old when I get back. It's so crazy!!

It almost feels as if I'll be somewhere else forever. Like this evening I was thinking "this will be the last chance I get to grab food from the Pita Pit and watch a movie with a friend". Or "this will be one of the last times I will be able to drive for awhile", or "this is the last time I will be in a Canadian grocery store".

Logically, I know that it's only 3 months. 1/4 of a year. A small fraction of a lifetime. But still, a lot can happen in three months, and I won't be here to see most of it, and it's kind of sad. I know I'm being melodramatic. It's silly. I have spent a year away at school, a summer as a nanny, and countless trips, though relatively short ones, to different places in Canada, the USA and twice to the Dominican Republic. But this is different.

Anyway . . . I guess it's normal to be feeling this way so close to departure. I'm not really surprised that I have mixed emotions. When the time comes I will be ready to say farewell to friends and family, hop on that plane, and jump into my summer in Ecuador . . . even though I know it won't always be easy.